‘Dzo babat egav!’(“Boy, your dad is here!), one of the students shouted loudly all of a sudden. I panicked so much that instinctively I threw the cigarette that I just lit in the air and tried to run somewhere to hide. It all took one second to realize how ridiculous it would be if I ran away. I was on stage, in front of the whole school watching me. I must have looked so funny in my panic. Everyone was laughing, even the teachers. I turned to look who the author of this humiliating joke was and it was Dikran...he was a younger student well-known for his unpredictable naughtiness...serseri (punk) Diko was his nickname. He was laughing heartily, looking into my eyes as if expecting a medal from me.
It was my second year at Yepremian Varjaran and I was in grade three. We were doing a piece from Baronyan. I was the main character, an Armenian effendi who, coming home drunk, stands in front of the mirror, notices how he has aged, lights a cigarette and starts a self-pitying monologue in front of the mirror. We had practiced so hard and here we were finally performing it for the ‘arts and culture’ hour at school...always around noon on Saturdays before going home. I had just lit the cigarette when I heard the warning. Imagine my father catching me smoking! The funny thing is my father was in Kamishly as usual in those days. But I was young and not so smart after all to reason logically. So, I panicked for a second and threw the cigarette backstage. Realizing a minute later that it was a joke, I too began laughing in embarrassment. ‘Wait until I catch you Diko agha’ was what I was thinking...I would teach him a lesson. But first, the show had to go on, and we did a good job after all.
My stories with smoking are many. My very first cigarette was around the age of five. My cousin Dzovig, the rebellious one, decided that we should steal a cigarette from my mother’s purse. We did and sneaked into the washroom. It was so thrilling because we knew we were playing a forbidden game. We lit it and started taking very quick puffs, sharing the cigarette. It as so quick that my stomach turned upside down. I was ready to vomit, my head started aching. I felt very hot. Dzovig too was almost sick. It was awful. I hated the taste of cigarettes. We did not get caught after all, but I decided never to smoke again.
I have been smoking for over forty years. To tell you the truth, I still enjoy it immensely. But I often wish I had never gotten addicted to it…I wish I had been strong enough to have quit long ago. I tried many times, but I was never strong enough to quit. The first time I smoked a cigarette fully and enjoyed it was on a rooftop when I was fourteen.
If anyone is to be held responsible from that night on the rooftop, it should be those friends of mine...Vicken, Vahe, Shahe and Onnig. Talk about peer pressure! We were all good friends and as members of the same community club, we were putting up election posters of the Armenian candidates in our neighborhood that night. After a couple of hours, we somehow ended up on a rooftop where my friends wanted to have a cigarette break. I was not a smoker, and they had always teased me about it. But that night, they really came down on me, telling me I was not a good friend because I never joined the fun and always sat apart whenever they smoked together. They went on and on, but I kept resisting. I gave in only when one of them called me a coward.
That was it! I told Vicken to give me a cigarette. He lit it for me while my friends cheered and I began smoking it. It was unforgettable! It was a ‘Kent’ and so delicious. I had watched many smokers around me, one of them my father, as well as many smoking scenes in movies. Of course, I tried to imitate them all by inhaling and letting the smoke out of my nostrils. It was difficult but aside from a couple of bouts of coughing, the whole thing was so tasty and from inhaling so much, my head started turning…I got high and dizzy. But I was not sick like that time with Dzovig in the washroom. That did it. For many months after that night, every cigarette that I smoked, gave me a sweet dizziness that I loved…I got hooked up to this day. But the truth is that I regret having given in to my friends that night on the rooftop.
